Nine months from HELL!
by asterisque
Summary: Sasuke wakes up to find an interesting suprise. Him and Naruto together? NO WAY! Denial, Sasuke, Denial. How will Naruto handle Sasuke's pregnancy problems? With alil persuasion ofcourse! If only this really happened...[REQUEST FIC! AU,YaoiOneshot,NarSas]


**EDIT 19/05/10. OH GOD. Weirdest farken fic ever ! DON'T read it. Go read some of my _other _fics. Dunno what I was thinking writing this haha..**

**I was young and stupid.. leave me alone.. _(actually i still am young stupid.. but anywho...)_**

**Well I'm not deleting this from my stories list, because I like the reminder of how much my stories have improved in both plot and language haha. and thats it.. **

* * *

**A/N: This Fic was written _for_ my BETA Yue no Rei! As a favour and request you could say. She ALSO beta-read this ficcy for me! Lets all thank her! **

**Warning: For the easily-disturbed hearted, This contains some amount of _Mpreg _but NOT to the extent of how much you think there is. :P NO lemon, just fluffs! and implied smut. AND OOC Sasuke, but really most people _are_ OCC when their pregnant. Haha. Oh. And this story is extremely weird.**

**Note from Yue: Usually pregnant ppls, their stomach starts swelling up about 3 months after. In here it's the first month, cos well Sasuke's male. Ahuh. But who really cares?**

* * *

**Prologue!**

Sasuke's eyes fluttered open. He looked at his surroundings. This wasn't his room. It was too _white,_ too clean, and too fucking _bright_ to be his room.

Sasuke groaned at the vividness around him. "Where the _hell_ am I?" he's gruff voice said to no one in particular.

"Baa-chan! He's awake!"

Sasuke cringed at the familiar masculine voice. A blonde man made his way to Sasuke's side.

"What the hell am I doing here!" Sasuke yelled at his best friend immediately sitting upright. He had to recollection of last night whatsoever. Or the night before that, and the night before that, and the night before that night... Okay so you get my point.

From the corner of his eye Sasuke saw an elderly woman in a _white _outfit. _What is it with that colour today?_

"What's going on?" he questioned. Naruto sighed.

"We tried to tell you last time, but you fainted and now you don't remember?" Naruto raised an eyebrow at his partner.

"What happened?"

Naruto gave a sigh,_ 'here we go again.' _

"Sasuke …you're…" He gave a glance the doctor who motioned him to go on. "….you're pregnant."

It took some time for him to comprehend what was being said. Naruto frowned in annoyance at the familiar scene.

_What was it now the fifth time?_

_Three…_

_Two…_

_One…_

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!" came the ear piercing scream from Sasuke. Okay, at least he didn't _faint_ this time.

"WHAT! HOW! I CAN'T BE PREGANT. I'M A MAN!" Sasuke yelled frantically very loud might I did.

Naruto sulked.

'_Why wasn't he that loud in bed?' _

However, Naruto was also confused as to how Sasuke got pregnant.

"_Ahem!"_ The doctor caught the attention of the two males in the room. "Well, I dunno how you got pregnant but..." She trailed off.

"Well, how do you put this? As you may not know, the female sex hormone is called oestrogen, while the males' are called testosterone. Naturally men and women come with both in their system, but one will out weight one greatly depending whether you're male or female." She paused. Knowing they probably need time to take this all in.

"…To put it simple, Sasuke you are a man, with more female hormones than male hormones, which is a very, very, very, odd case. That is the reason you are attracted to the same sex as yourself." This time as paused to looked at the widely grinning Naruto.

_What. The. Fuck! _

_More female hormones than male hormones?_

_Attracted to the same sex?_

_Naruto?_

Suddenly it hit him. _Oh HELL No!_

"I AM NOT GAY!" he proclaimed.

The blonde doctor sighed. "Maybe amnesia is a symptom for you as well?" she raised an eyebrow.

Naruto however, his vain was popping. '_You weren't saying that last week you bastard!'_

Tsunade sigh, and continued, "Anyhow you're pregnant. And since you have a penis instead of a woman's core my best guess is that…the baby will come out your ass." She put it bluntly.

The azure eyed man snickered. The Uchiha looked petrified.

And then…

Fainted…

…Again…

The two blondes sighed yet again that day.

**_First month of pregnancy…_**

Sasuke finally got, well _nearly _got everything through his confused head.

He still didn't believe Naruto though, or Tsunade for that matter.

There was NO way he was pregnant.

One, he was a man.

Two, he was not gay.

Three, he was still….Sasuke blushed at the thought.

…he was still, Sasuke's crimson head coloured even more….

The truth was he was still _virgin. _Yeah, our widdle Sasuke was a twenty-four year old virgin.

He didn't remember having sex with Naruto. Not that he would _ever _even consider having sex with his best friend. Because he was not gay….yeah that's it Sasuke…not gay…

He was straight. Uhuh, straight. Just about as straight as a ….._Limpy dying_ flower.

But of course he would never admit that to himself, he groaned as he looked down at the slight swell he had on his stomach.

_Denial is a river in Egypt…_

_**Second month…**_

'_ARGH!'_ Sasuke's swell was actually _noticeable_ now. What the hell was he going to say to his colleagues!

He really didn't want to tell them that he was pregnant. Seriously, he had _pride_. _Uchiha_ pride and we all know that's like one-huge-as-stick-stuck-up-his-ass pride.

The dark haired man stopped pondering with his thoughts when he saw Naruto walk into the room.

"Naruto?" Sasuke questioned.

"Hmm?" Naruto was busy doing up his smart suit skirt in front his large mirror.

"How did we…? You know…" Sasuke tried asking, but too embarrassed couldn't finish his sentence and ended up flushing instead.

Naruto frown at his lost of memory. "You really don't remember huh?" Naruto paused and looked at his mate. "I guess it was influence of alcohol, but that was one _hell_ of _wild_ night we had…" He smirked at Sasuke, which only caused him to redden even more. The sly man continued. "You seemed to be enjoying yourself too, _moaning_ my name that _many_ times." His mischievous grin broadened as he gave a quick glace at Sasuke, who was blushing like crazy. His face had a redder hue than his favourite fruit. Tomato that is.

_So he is gay?_

**_Third month of pregnancy…_**

"NOOOO! WAHHHH! I DON'T WANT TO GOOOO!" A very loud and whiny male voice cried.

"Sasuke, you need to know how to give birth to the baby. It's coming out of your ass for Christ sake!" Naruto reason, "And it's not for another month!"

"So? Well, why don't you go! If it's soooo important," Sasuke stubbornly countered not realizing what he was saying.

A vain threatened to pop. Lucky Naruto was a patient man, so he simply rolled his eyes at the deranged male.

"I'm not the pregnant one!" He answered, getting fairly irritated. This emotional rollercoaster Sasuke was riding was too hard to keep up with.

"…well…well you can go! And, and then! Come back and just tell me." He calmly answered with a happy smile on his enthusiastic face.

"Sasuke, you're going…that's final." He sighed.

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Now where did all his calmness go?

"You want to bet on that?" Naruto asked with one of his smirks.

Sasuke remind quiet. Knowing very well Naruto could make him go.

_Dominance…_

**_Forth month…._**

True to his words Naruto _made_ him come.

"Ah. Naruto, Sasuke. Nice to see you back." Tsunade came into the same white room her eyes not leaving the clipboard she held in her hands.

"Ehehe. Hey baa-chan!" Naruto forced enthusiasm didn't go unnoticed. He nudged Sasuke who grunted in return.

"Hn." Nope, we really didn't see that coming.

Tsunade sighed, really not knowing what do say or do to _this_; she poked the balloon like stomach on Sasuke. She cringed. It made him look like those beer-obsessed-drunken lards you see in animes.

"Well, We could do some test….?" Tsunade suggested.

"Err, test? You say?" Naruto enquired.

"Yeah. Uhuh. Sasuke, I want you to change into this," Tsunade handed Sasuke a maternal dress. "Lay down like a pregnant woman would and give a few push for me." She finished.

Sasuke blushed. Naruto smirked. Tsunade sighed. _'This is going to be a _long_ day…'_

Sasuke did what he was told.

"No," came the old doctor's voice, "Not hard enough."

"C'mon Sasu! Push Like, you need to get a big shit outta your system!" Naruto encouraged. "PUSH! Push like…. you're trying to get out that HUGE ASS invisible stick that's always up your ass!" '_Whoops.'_ Naruto thought. '_Wrong turn.' _Sasuke gave a glare.

But, what Naruto said gave Tsunade an idea. She snickered, its time for her to have some fun. Feel the pain Uchiha. She strolled over to the Medical cabinet and got a medium sized round circumference plastic stick.

Sasuke looked at her like she was a mad woman. Naruto eyes widened, realizing what she was going to use that for.

"Okay, Sasuke, I'm gonna shove this up your ass," she said twirling the stick-like thing in her hand. "…and I need you to push just like you were pushing with that _invisible_ stick."

Sasuke shook his head rapidly and raised his hands to protect himself.

"NO WAY you're getting that anywhere near me!" Sasuke cried out.

"Don't worry Sasuke." Naruto grinned. "It's not as big as mine." Naruto winked.

Sasuke flushed with colour and Tsunade rolled her eyes.

One…..Sasuke braced himself.

Two…Tsunade walked over and began to push the stick in.

Thr- "AHHHHHHHHH!" A shriek echoed through the whole hospital.

_Feel the pain._

**_Fifth month of pregnancy…._**

Naruto turned to Sasuke and ushered him to quickly pick out a suit for their business ball next month.

Oh, if your wondering. Naruto and Sasuke, worked together at Konoha corp. they were known as the 'Dynamic Duo' due to their position as the two top executive extraordinaires at Konoha Corp. If only everyone knew how _dynamically _duo-ish they really are….in bed.

"Wahh! I don't want to go! What are we going to say to them?" Sasuke whined like a baby as he pointed to his stomach.

Sasuke had been on temporary _leave_, due to his, per say, condition.

"Nothing. You are _my_ smexy man-whore and I won't let anyone comment about it." Naruto said teasingly in a seductive voice trying to calm down the handsome onyx eyed man.

Sasuke found the statement very arousing.

'_Fuck._' He felt his member twitch slightly. When did Naruto get so horny and sexy. Sasuke smirked at his lusty friend. Sasuke bought the dark blue suit.

Their comments to each other left the male formal wear shop's employee in a bewildered dazzle.

_Just feeling it._

**_Sixth month…_**

The couple arrived at the vivid and crowded hall. Only for them to be greeted by…

"WAHHHH! NARUTO-KUN! KAKKOI!"

….a _herd _of screaming fan _women_ practically gawking at him and flirting with him like there was no tomorrow, and well Naruto being the womanizer he is, gave them all seductive grins and smirks making his attractive whisker scarred face even more gorgeous.

'_What. The. Fuck.' _Sasuke thought. Wasn't he himself, the ones with the fans? _'Argh. They think I'm fat.'_ He moped.

'_Naruto. What. The. Fuck. Does. He. Think. He. Is. Doing!' _Sasuke's eyes flaired at all the women crowed around his lov-_ahem _best friend. Oh, if looks could kill. Let's just say no one would be crowding around Naruto anymore.

Anyways, yeah, that bastard was _still _in denial.

The jealous male stomped, rather loudly, over to the howling pack, and dragged Naruto the hell out of there.

"What are you doing!" Sasuke screamed at him. Naruto was taken aback, raising his hands in defence.

"Look Sasuke. They came on to me, not the other way around. No need to get all jealous." Naruto said dripping with slyness.

"I'm not jealous." Sasuke retort softly and looked away.

"Yes. You are." Naruto took steady strides, like a predator catching it's prey.

Sasuke was glued to the spot, watching Naruto advance with a dirty look on his face. Sasuke eyes clouded with lust, Naruto seemed to notice. He came till he was close enough to feel Sasuke's breathe on his face. The golden haired man bent down, and down, their faces merely inches away, Sasuke's lips so close to his.

"Naruto-sama! There you are, we need you for…um did I interrupt something?" A voice in intruded them. As soon as the pair heard the voice, both jumped away from each other both feeling flustered. They didn't want to be caught in such a position.

The brown haired intruder noticing their jumpy behaviour and lightly pinked faces ask if he was interrupting something.

"Actually…you-" Sasuke began hotly rather annoyed that someone interrupted him and Naruto.

Naruto quickly cut him off. "Ah. No. It's okay…What did you need me for Konohamaru?"

With that, Naruto excused himself from Sasuke walking away with Konohamaru leaving an angrily frustrated and growling someone behind. In his head Sasuke was too busy thinking about one-hundreds-ways-to-kill-that-brown-haired-brat-and-those-fucking-sluts.

_Jealous much?_

**_Seven and eighth month of pregnancy…_**

Nothing, too significant happened within these two months. Just more 'giving birth' classes from Tsunade, more of Sasuke's PMS and Naruto complains.

And, oh yeah, there was also that one time when Sasuke accused Naruto of cheating on him when he went out one afternoon. The truth is it was _Sasuke _in the first place who _begged_ Naruto to _go _and buy some tomatoes at the supermarket in the middle of the night.

_Normalities in pregnancy…or not…_

**_Ninth month…Last month…_**

Naruto was jumping up in joy. He only had two weeks of this to go!

Sasuke was on the verge of melt down with his unbelievable mood swings.

The tall dark shadow looked at his reflection on the mirror, rubbing his huge stomach with teary eyes.

Another tall young man came into the room, he sighed and turn on the lights as he saw Sasuke's expression.

"What is it Sasuke?" Naruto asked, really tired of this, every time his partner had that look on his face it was for some stupid emotional reason.

"Do I look fat to you?" He asked sadly.

Naruto sighed. "Sasuke you're pregnant."

"Just answer the damn question!" Sasuke demanded.

"No…" Naruto replied carefully.

"You're lying! Don't you dare lie to me Naruto!" he yelled. "I want the truth."

Naruto sighed in defeat, knowing that Sasuke would only quit if he answered what he wanted to hear, "Fine, yes! Are you happy now?"

"No…." Sasuke shook his head, he looked like he was about to cry, it was cute. Naruto waited to see what the problem was.

Tears leaked from Sasuke's tired eyes. Okay, so he really did cry.

"Y-you…t-t-t-think…I'm fat!" He sobbed out.

A vain popped from Naruto's head, actually several veins popped.

"I said no first! But no! You wanted the truth and now you're having a cry about it!" Naruto screamed hysterically.

Sasuke cries only got louder and louder.

"Y-y-you j-j-just…sc-sc-reamed at MEEEEEEE!" Sasuke sniffed out.

The foxy man really couldn't take more of this. He stomped over to Sasuke and forcibly planted his lips against the bawling man, trying to calm him down. Sasuke's cries subsided as his scream got taken away in the kiss, just when it was starting to get hot and heated…

"AHHHHHH!" Sasuke panicked. "Something wet is running down my legs!"

"Um. Oh. Well…" Naruto pretended to sound like he knew what Sasuke was talking about but in fact, he had no fucking clue.

"…..Do you want me to get you a bucket?" Naruto asked not knowing what to say.

"NO DOBE! The baby's coming."

"Oh." '_Wait…'_ Naruto thought. _'But its not due time yet…'_ Naruto thought Sasuke was joking. Until he fainted that is, he began to panic as he picked up the fainted pregnant man and took him to the hospital.

_**Hospital…**_

"Now Sasuke, just breathe, just like we practice…." Came a voice trying to calm the frantic male.

Breathes in…

Breathes out…

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_Never get a man to do a woman's job…_

_**Somewhere….**_

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sasuke screamed and sat up from the pained in his ass. He took in his surrounding. He was not in the white, clean and vivid room, like just moments ago. This room was dark, dirty and dull. He sighed in relief he was in his room.

'_What a minute? Was it all a dream?'_

'_Yep.' _He confirmed himself as he touched where his pregnant stomach would have been.

"YES!" He yelled as he jumped onto his feet still on the bed. "YES!" He jumped like a giddy little kid. "It was a dream! I'm NOT gay…and I'm NOT PREGNANT!" Jumping up and down fiercely shaking the dark silk covered bed.

…

…

…

"What are you doing jumping up and down in the middle of the night?" A tired familiar voice asked from his place in the large bed.

Sasuke froze. '_NO WAY! NO FUCKING WAY!'_

"You'll wake up the baby…" Naruto played along, with a smirk.

"NOOOO!" Sasuke screamed, to Naruto he was very out of character.

"Sasuke I'm only joking…What's up?" The blonde naked sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"S-so it was a dream?"

"Depends what it is." Naruto grinned.

"Me pregnant? And gay?"

"No to the first, yes to the second," he lifted the covers giving Sasuke a few view of his naked body. Sasuke glance down at his body and blushed as he realized he was as equally nude.

"But I'm not…Wasn't pregnant right?"

"Did you hit your head or something? Males can't get pregnant."

Remembering what Tsunade said he nodded.

"Whatever, Sasuke. Some bad dream huh?" Naruto sighed sleepily as he pulled down the dark haired man. Sasuke sighed in relief yet again. Okay, maybe he was gay, but so what, he was happy. He rested his head on Naruto's toned chest and drifted to a satisfying sleep.

Let's hope he doesn't get pregnant, well at least for Naruto's sake.

* * *

**Don't read into that oestrogen/testosterone crap. And obviously the Bio for real pregnancy is fucked up in here (ie. male "water breaking" and the time when the baby bump shows up etv etc) Obviously its all bullshit. **

**Beta/ Yue no Rei notes: Oh my… -Hugs Aiya- Well isn't this the strangest Mpreg story you have every read? So now give the authoress some review. Got it? Ho Hum. I think its time to do some shameless advertising. Some SasuNaru/ NaruSasu fan art and other random stuff by Yue found here: http /fuyu-no-gekkou(dot)deviantart(dot)com **

**A/N: I don't have much to say, except sorry for the suckyness! Ehehe anyways R&R and tell me what you think of it! Oh Go check out the fanart, its cute as! (comming from a non-NaruSasu fan) **


End file.
